


The Secrets That You Keep

by anemptymargin



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: F/M, Infidelity, M/M, Old work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-15
Updated: 2004-07-15
Packaged: 2017-10-18 11:53:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/188632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anemptymargin/pseuds/anemptymargin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Betrayal</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Secrets That You Keep

**Author's Note:**

> Old work presented in it's original and unedited format. All warranties are null and void.
> 
> Written for the Inspiration first line challenge.

"There are things that cannot be undone, no matter how hard one tries." Were the words he had used as we stood out on the doorstep.

The words pound in my head, and I can feel the bed sink as she lays down beside me. Her arms wrap around me, pulling our naked bodies together. She whispers my name, but I can't think of anything but what he had said.

Her fingers trace the lines and curves of my chest, awakening the skin that had betrayed her.

Betrayal. My mind aches at the truth of the matter. I can't go back in time, can't make it go away.

***

He was a boy of contradictions when I met him... eyes glowing with the innocence of a child and clouded by the smoke of lust. I used to call him jail bait, and we both knew it wasn't a joke. He's always been too sexual for his own good.

It was three months into the shoot when I first betrayed her.

I'd found him in the hotel lobby, peacefully asleep on a love seat. His feet were curled underneath him as he suckled gently on his pinkie finger. I swept him into my arms, cradling his torso against my chest as I struggled to lift him off the sofa. It was my duty, After all, I was his faithful caretaker.

His sleepy eyes had opened slowly, locking on me with the dim smile that he could only muster when very sleepy. "My Sam." He whispered; "You've come to take me up to bed?"

"C'mon Mister Frodo." I mumbled in my Samwise voice, blushing as the desk clerk looked at us sideways. "How long have you been down here?"

"Locked my keys in the car again..." He seemed to be coming around, but I could recognize the familiar scent of tequila and lime on his breath as he pulled his face closer to mine.

"It's alright, come on upstairs with me." I held his slender body a moment longer than I should have, feeling his steady breathing against my cheek.

"Can't walk... fell down." He held up his hands and I saw the small bloody gash he had been sucking on.

I tried to pick him up and sling him over my shoulder, but his body was too awkward to just hoist up. "Here..." I finally gave up, resorting to the easiest way to get him to my room so I could call for a locksmith. "I'll carry you on my back."

He watched with a boy's amusement as I crouched down in front of him, then turned away. His arms wrapped around my neck and I took tight hold of the legs he wrapped around my waist with little effort. "Okay." He whispered against my ear, "Don't tell anyone, okay?"

***

She strokes over my chest, and I can smell her apricot shampoo. "What's wrong?" She strokes lower, teasing at the curls of hair below my belly button.

"Nothing." I lie, unable to to share my pain. I turn to her and force a smile, "I love you." I feel like a traitor as I kiss her... barely able to feel the sensation over the hard bruising kisses he had left to linger.

Her tongue sweeps past my lips gracefully and I wonder if she can taste the creamy smoke flavor of his come still clinging to the insides of my mouth. "How was your night out with the boys?"

"Great." I rest my head against her shoulder, letting my hand cup the familiar weight of her left breast. My fingers traced the soft nub of her nipple, feeling it harden under my touch.

She chuckles softly, her fingers twining loosely in my hair. "I know you're always so wound up when he's in town."

"Hmm?" I try to act like I have no idea who she's talking about... but I know she isn't stupid. I'm a mess when he's around. Half the time I don't know if I'm coming or going, just that every time he's near me I forget about everything else.

"The boy." She whispers, pushing into me as I kiss the tender flesh along her shoulder.

***

We made it to my room unscathed and I settled him into my bed, sitting close beside him. "You stay here." Without thinking I began to rifle through my wallet for the business card of the only all hours locksmith I'd found in the country. I was beginning to think that perhaps I should have him on my speed dial.

"Sean..." His hand loosely clutched at my wrist, stopping my movement. "Don't... leave me here."

I set my wallet aside, intending to comfort him long enough to lull him into a drunken sleep. My fingers stroked the soft texture of his t-shirt, and I found myself more than a little amused by the almost feline way he pressed his lithe body into my touch. "I'm not going anywhere, Lij."

He murmured deep in his throat, lifting his hips as I stroked lower, along the high waist of his tight cords. "Mmm." His eyes opened slowly as his tongue poked out between his lips. He was not a boy anymore, but he was barely an adult... and I was becoming painfully aware of his intentions. "My Sam..." He smiled, giggling slightly. "You take such good care of me... I don't know what I would ever do without you."

I laughed, I think. Partially at his half-drunken comment... partially my own nerves. The tone of the room had changed, and I knew it. The smell of sex clung to the normally stale hotel air, and I had to make a choice.

He pulled himself up into my arms, his lips nuzzling at my throat. For anyone else, I know I would have said 'no', would have pushed them away... but it was him. "Elijah..." I didn't push him away, instead I felt my arms pulling him in closer.

The he was looking at me with those eyes, the amazingly blue eyes that made him look even younger than his eighteen years. I wanted to protect him from the world, to make a vain play at being some sort of father to him... but he wanted something else. And the steady throb of warmth where his lips and tongue tempted my throat told me that he was not quite alone. "Stop?"

He was giving me an out, a chance to cool things off. In the end, I committed my sin... my first betrayal. "No..." I whispered, taking his hand as he traced the curve of my face. Gently I kissed the small cut where he had apparently injured himself in the parking lot, unsurprised when he nodded, our eyes locking on each other for one last moment of confirmation.

Tentatively, his lips met mine and I knew there was no turning back. As he would say some years later, it couldn't be undone. "No." He echoes, pulling away for breath. His hands stroke down the zipper of my jeans and I know what he's asking for... what my body is beginning to ask for.

"Yes." I whispered, kissing him again, feeling his fingers work at the zipper with practiced ease.

***

Her intentions become more clear to me when her graceful fingers begin to stroke over my cock, teasing it until the head begins to push back against her hand. I knew it wasn't worth much... not long before I had come over the top of Elijah's hand in the backseat of his SUV, but for her I would try. After all, it was for love.

I moan in the back of my throat, trying to let the sensation carry me away from my own mind... from the guilt. "I love you." I whisper, leaning over her and letting my fingers gently tease over the soft folds of her sex. Pushing her farther, I let my index finger brush softly against her clit.

She pushes closer to me, her hand coming to rest on my thigh - squeezing harder as rub circles over the sensitive flesh.

***

Elijah lowered the zipper on my jeans, leaning over my lap and nosing at the puddled fabric around my thickening cock. Then he took it in his hand, licking from base to tip before staring up at me once more. The innocence was gone, replaced with those dangerous eyes that made me wonder just how long he'd been doing things like that. Sure, I'd heard stories... but I'm sure there've been enough stories about me that just weren't the truth.

I bit into my lip, letting one hand stroke down his nose as the other helped him push the clothing out of his way. Then he took the entire length in his velvety throat. It was just like I knew it would be, like every other warm wet mouth... his tongue darting over the tightening flesh as he let the tip gently tap the back of his throat.

He choked, but only pushed farther... seeming almost eager to show me what he could do. Any hope I had of stopping myself was given up, I wanted him then and I knew it... I wanted to know what it would feel like with Elijah.

***

Christine moans, pushing her wetness against my palm as she comes, the wetness slicking over my fingers. Then she whimpers as I pull my hand away, smiling when I swing myself over her thigh and crouch between her legs. "I love you." I repeat, feeling the guilt pushing back past my desire to please her... to see and feel myself inside her.

She giggles and I lean closer, kissing her lips as I rub the head of my cock along her wet slit, feeling it harden once more. I tell myself that I'm going to please her, if nothing else. And that when it's all over maybe someday I'll be able to tell her why I couldn't come and she'll laugh and it'll all just be one big weird joke that doesn't have any bearing on our life.

"Please..." She whispers in that tone that no man could refuse.

Slowly, I push myself inside her.

***

"Elijah..." My hands latched on to the hair at the nape of his neck, pushing as I thrust my cock deeper into his mouth. He moaned, the vibrations spiraling me higher still. I was an animal then, growling and grunting as he inhaled my cock. "Such a good little slut..."

The words poured out of my mouth until I tilted my head back, biting my lower lip as I felt my sac tighten and push up against his lips. Then he slowed his pace, swallowing... looking up at me expectantly.

Yet again, I knew what he wanted before he even made the move. "Sean?" He pulled away, his voice a shaky whisper as my wet cock slapped against his lips.

I groaned, leaning back as he managed to shimmy out of leather pants. "What?" I tilted my chin to him, not surprised when he crawled into my lap and wrapped his naked legs around my waist.

He kissed me then, his mouth wet with saliva and my precome. "Fuck me..." He pulled away, whispering the unneeded words into my ear.

"I can't..." I pulled back, coming back to reality. Remembering that we were in my hotel room, that any day now my wife would be arriving... my family...

"You can." He purred, grinding his ass into my cock as his own prodded into my belly. Warm lips kissed down my cheek as his tongue licked at my lips. "Please..."

***

She shudders as I grind the base of my cock against her wetness. Her moans rise as loud as she lets them when the kids are so close and I push myself closer to her body, gently squeezing at her breasts.

"Yeah, you like that?" I grunt, pounding her harder as the sweat began to bead on my brow.

She arches into my thrusts, her hair falling around her face as her pale skin melds to my body. A rhythmic panting fills the room as I feel my member tightening and my thighs begin to clench. I can't believe I'm actually feeling myself tipping over the edge. Her pussy wet and tight as she tenses and comes again.

***

Elijah moaned low and loud in the hotel, the headboard knocking against the wall as I pounded his tight ass. I slid my hands down his sweaty back, pushing his shoulders into the hotel pillows. "Fuck. Yes. Sean. Fuck."

I pounded harder, each thrust now stifling his grunts as he fell forward. His supple young flesh pliant under my touch. Then, rather unexpectedly, my body clenched and I felt the surge of power as my cock twitched and pulsed inside him.

He whimpers, grinding backwards as I push as deep as I can and fill myself filling the tip of my rubber. Then he's on his back against the pillows, staining the blankets with KY as his nimble hands work over his cock. His eyes locked on mine and I dove headfirst into his lap.

I didn't know what to do back then, I'd never been so close to a penis before... but I had to know what it tasted like. I licked the purple tip and watched him shiver as I licked at the weeping slit. "Sean..." He sounded like he was about to cry as I let it slide into my mouth.

My tongue took in the taste, sweat and slightly bitter as he pushed back against the pillows.

"I'm..." He sounded almost like a woman as he pulled out, giving his cock a few hard tugs.

Then his come was spilling over the head of his cock as he gasped. My tongue darted out, collecting the warm stickiness as he rubbed the tip over my bruised lips, the last tiny spurts collecting on my cheek.

***

Her muscles lock on, pulling me in as I hold myself back... I want to push harder, fuck her body into the bed as she trembles once more. I'm so close I can taste how badly I want to come for her, to prove to myself that no matter how hot he gets me... I'm always coming home to her.

I pull out and stroke myself as she gasps for breath, her slippery come turning my hand into a silk heaven as I recall the images from the last encounter with him. The way his eyelashes had fluttered like butterflies, his lips parting in a silent gasp as my hands tugged at his cock. His thick white come slicking my hand as I stroked until he'd gone soft, pushing his face into my shoulder mewling like a cat in heat.

Then it happens, the dots connect in my brain as I come over my fist, directing the warm jets onto her spent wetness. She arches her back, her slender fingers rubbing my come over her pussy as I groan.

I fall into her arms for a moment, holding up most of my own weight as I push close against her. "I love you..." I find myself whispering in a too-soft tone.

She whimpers, beginning to wriggle herself out from underneath me. "Love you too, sweetie."

Then I roll onto my back, wishing I was back in Elijah's car... or at least in access of a cigarette. I could even plan on blaming the scent of smoke clinging to my jacket on him. The guilt rocked me again... as it did every time.

It was wrong. Wrong to have agreed to sleeping with him the first time... and every time thereafter. Wrong to go home and kiss and caress her, to imagine Elijah's face as I force out the second orgasm in two hours.

She rolls off the bed and makes for the bathroom, "Coming, honey?"

"I need a few minutes." I sigh, closing my eyes as I let my body come to rest. My fingers tremble as I fumble for my cellphone on the nightstand.

"There are things that cannot be undone, no matter how hard one tries." His voice echoes again. He wanted me to tell her about everything.

***

"We can't ever tell anybody about this..." I had whispered as we lay shaking in the hotel bed, still gently touching and caressing the soft skin of his thighs and belly.

"I know." He responded quietly, taking a deep drag off his cigarette as he pushed one into my hand. "Christine would..."

"Yeah." I tried not to think about it, it was far too early for the guilt to set in so readily.

There was silence save for the sound of our puffing. Why? The question kept occurring to me... what what had I been thinking?

"What... happened?" I finally asked, unsure of the actual implications.

"I don't know... I guess I'm a little too drunk to think about it."

"You were sober enough for that... I'm sure you aren't that drunk anymore." I blew out a plume of smoke, my eyes beginning to burn a little.

"It just... felt right. You could have stopped me."

"Yeah. I could have." But I didn't. I finished to myself, letting my fingers linger on his thigh.

Another drawn out moment before; "I want to do this again sometime, Sean... because... I..."

"Me too, Lij." It wasn't a lie. I'd known for over a month that I was more than a little interested in the thought. It had been set in motion, my life was in the hands of fate by my own doing.

***

"Christine?" I whisper, closing the master bathroom's door. Her hand appears at the edge of the shower curtain and I know she can hear me. I think out my words as I sit down on the closed lid of the toilet, wiping myself clean with a damp washcloth. "I think there's something we need to talk about."

"It can wait." Her voice filters over the running water. "Come on in, honey."

"I've been cheating on you with Elijah." I speak very deliberately, awaiting her reaction.

There is another pause as the water shuts off, then a colder version of her voice says; "I know."

At first I am surprised, but I had really known all along that she must have figured something was going on. "How long have you known?"

The curtain slides open and I stare at her naked body, watching the water cling to her delicate skin. I love her, that much is certain... she is my world. "A few years ago... you were talking about it in your sleep. Arguing with yourself about 'mentioning the boy', and it's pretty simple to know that something happened while you were in New Zealand."

"Then you forgive me? For keeping it from you?"

"I never said that." She towels off as though we were having any old conversation. "But I know you, Sean. You will always love him, it's just a different love... I know your heart is with me."

"I don't..." I start to say I don't love Elijah, but we both know it's a lie. "I've betrayed our marriage, Christine... our sacred vows of love."

"Then stop." She moves in close, letting me rest my forehead on her body. "Don't do it any more."

I wet my lips, thinking of some way to promise her I wouldn't do it again. But I couldn't, I had promised myself a hundred times before... and always went back to him for another round. "I can't." I whisper into her side, a little surprised when she strokes my hair.

We hold each other for a long time and I know our future rests in the balance of her mercy. Then she responds; "Then it's our little secret."

**Author's Note:**

> As per usual, I don't own them... they own me. Wait. No. I mean, this never ever happened anywhere but my twisted sad little world.


End file.
